Friday, January 1, 2010

Vick fails to inspire Team...


PHILADELPHIA—Michael Vick's pregame pep talk Sunday, in which he recounted the events of a brutal 2004 dogfight between his pit bull terrier Zebro and rival pit bull Maniac, failed to inspire his teammates in any way whatsoever, Eagles team sources reported.

Vick, who was playing in his first NFL game since serving an 18-month prison sentence, called the 10-minute story "really motivational," and reportedly failed to understand why his graphic recounting of how Zebro ripped out Maniac's larynx caused teammates to stagger out of the player tunnel and onto Lincoln Financial Field with their heads hanging.

"I don't know what their problem is, because that story pumps me up every time," Vick said during a postgame press conference. "It's a classic underdog story: On one side of the dogfighting pit you had Maniac, who was a beast, and on my end you had Zebro, who was pretty good, but not great. Yet we had trained him hard. We strengthened his hind legs by forcing him to constantly jump at a teasing stick; we emotionally tortured him so that he would attack everything in sight; and from the time he was a little puppy, we toughened him up by beating him with a metal baton."

"I told my teammates that the stakes were high, because if Zebro had lost, I would have either electrocuted him, drowned him, or slammed his body to the ground until he was dead," Vick added. "How is that not inspiring?"

According to Eagles players, Vick's voice increased in intensity at key moments throughout the pep talk, and he was at his most impassioned when he spoke of how Zebro continued to fight despite the fact that numerous chunks of flesh had been ripped from his body.

Vick also sought to motivate his team by comparing the Eagles' weekly preparation to Zebro's, saying that just as Vick had forced his pit bull to drag a tire with his mouth for hours on end to strengthen his jaw, the Eagles defense had put in the training necessary to stop quarterback Matt Cassel.

Sources confirmed that by the end of the locker room speech, the Eagles were so demoralized they could barely muster the will to put their hands into the team circle for a group cheer.

"I don't know why he told us those things," said Eagles quarterback Kevin Kolb, visibly disturbed as he told reporters that Vick looked proud when he explained how Zebro nearly lost consciousness several times throughout the fight. "I spent the first half of the game trying to get all that imagery out of my head: the bloody pit, the cigar smoke, grown men shouting as dogs ripped each other to shreds. It was so messed up that it didn't even sound real."

"They turned those dogs into monsters and made them kill each other for their own sick enjoyment," Kolb added. "For their own fucking enjoyment."

Running back LeSean McCoy echoed Kolb, saying that at no time during the game did he draw on the thought of Zebro losing half his ear as a source of inspiration.

"Before we went out on the field, [Vick] told us how the dogs went at each other's throats one last time, and when Zebro broke free, his snout and face were completely covered in blood," McCoy explained. "That's when—and I'll never forget this for the rest of my life—Mike looked at us, smiled, and said, 'But it wasn't Zebro's blood. It was Maniac's. Now let's go out there and have some fun!'"

"Jesus Christ," McCoy added.

Teammates said Vick continued to reference the story throughout the game as a motivational tool, at one point shouting, "Remember Zebro!" when the team faced a difficult third-down situation.

In addition, as Vick finally entered the game to a loud ovation, his teammates said they were further disturbed when Vick compared them to his dogfighting crew, the "Bad Newz Kennels." Vick said the group would do anything for each other, especially when it came to the mass execution of dogs who failed to win the multimillionaire $1,000 in illegal prize money.

Vick then broke the huddle by loudly barking three times.

"The only reason the Chiefs scored in the second half was because I was still thinking about what Mike said during halftime about 'trunking,'" said linebacker Omar Gaither, referring to the practice of putting two pit bulls in a car trunk, closing the door, and allowing them to fight for 15 minutes until one is dead. "Why is this freak on my team? Why are people cheering for him? Seriously, answer my questions. Why?"

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Ok, At it again

I have decided, in what has been the most boring, mind numbing bullshit shift of all time, to start blogging again. I am about to leave so will already put it off until tomorrow. I will try to write some short stories too, but they will most likely suck.

Cheers!
Dimes.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

A Nice Holiday, but back to A-Stan!


After spending a very relaxing 4 weeks in the Balkans, I am heading back to Kandahar and going to make a conscious effort to be a bit more proactive with my blog. I also plan to loose 30lbs. in the next three and a half months before my next vacation. I will update daily and will probably fail, but I need it, I am getting out of control!

The holiday was nice, Spent the entire time with Saska, James, Bill, Brian, Luli and Teuta. Probably my closest friends. Most of the time was in familiar spots, but we saw some new cities as well (Vienna, Bratislava, Struga, Ohrid, Istanbul)

I already miss every one of you and I will see you all again soon!

With Love,
Adam

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Back in the saddle...

Well I took a bit of a Hiatus. I quit my job in Iraq and went home for a couple weeks visiting Mom, Ginger, Kelly, Brett and Brad. Ive mobilized again and after a week in Kandahar, Afghanistan, I am now at a Forward Operating Base called Tarin Kowt. Its disgusting here. Hot, flies everywhere, no A/C and nothing but Port-a-potty's. I guess it could be worse, and when I figure out how, I will let you know. The main contingent here is the Dutch Defense force. Most of them are pretty nice but we are here in the support of the 82nd Airborne who will arrive shortly. By the time they get here I will be out in Spion Boldak on the Afghani/Pakistan border setting up another FOB there. I am going nuts with no guitar... but I am here for the TWAT (The War Against Terror)

Ciao!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Black Jack!!!!!

Just before WWI, There were a number of terrorist attacks against the United States forces in the Philippines by Muslin extremists. General "Black" Jack Pershing captured 50 of the terrorists and had them tied to posts for execution. He then had his men bring in two pigs and slaughter them in front of the now horrified terrorists. Muslims, as you know, detest pork because they believe pigs are filthy animals (This coming from people who wipe with their bare hand). Some of them simply refuse to eat it, while others won't touch pigs at all or any of their by-products. To them, eating or touching a pig, its meat, its blood, etc., is to be instantly barred from Paradise (and those virgins) and doomed to hell.

The soldiers then soaked their bullets in the pig's blood and proceeded to execute 49 of the terrorists by firing squad. The soldiers then dug a big hole, dumped in the terrorist's bodies and covered them in pig blood, entrails, etc. They let the 50th man go and for the next 42 years, there was not a single Muslim terrorist attack anywhere in the world. Maybe it's time for history to repeat itself... But where do we find another Black Jack Pershing?

Monday, April 6, 2009

My newest ride... Rickenbacker 4003 FG.







Hey Europe, Man up and kick in!

Some in the American military have a derogatory nickname for the ISAF, the ackronym for NATO forces. It actually stands for the International Security Assistance Force. But these soldiers suggest it really means "I Saw America Fight."
Sixty years after the formation of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, its American critics suggest its famous Article Five -- that an attack on one NATO nation is an attack on all of them -- means little. While some NATO countries -- especially the United Kingdom -- have sent combat troops to the country, and lost treasure, most in the 28-nation alliance have not.
"I worry a great deal about the alliance evolving into a two-tiered alliance in which you have some allies willing to fight and die to protect people's security and others who are not," Defense Secretay Gates said late last year, "And I think that it puts a cloud over the future of the alliance if this is to endure and perhaps even get worse."
President Obama Saturday suggested there was no shame in being in the second tier. The up to 5,000 NATO troops who will be helping train Afghan police and Afghan forces, and providing security for the August Afghan elections, are critical, he said.

Critics say President Obama is just trying to spin an inevitable outcome; it was so clear most NATO allies would not send combat troops into Afghanistan he came to Strasbourg knowing he woudn't even make the request.

This is another failure for Obama. It comes from his own Ilk and that of the Democrats who thought the problem was George Bush and not the European allies. "Smart" diplomacy looks about as effective as Bush diplomacy when it comes to getting help in the war against eh Islamic religious bigots.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

He would have been 66 today...





Sunrise doesn't last all morning
A cloudburst doesn't last all day
Seems my love is up and has left you with no warning
It's not always going to be this grey

All things must pass
All things must pass away

Sunset doesn't last all evening
A mind can blow those clouds away
After all this, my love is up and must be leaving
It's not always going to be this grey

All things must pass
All things must pass away
All things must pass
None of life's strings can last

So, I must be on my way
And face another day

Now the darkness only stays the night-time
In the morning it will fade away
Daylight is good at arriving at the right time
It's not always going to be this grey


All things must pass
All things must pass away
All things must pass
All things must pass away

Saturday, February 21, 2009

I've decided to convert to....


Whatever religion this is... As it is the best picture ever taken....

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

If I lose my job tomorrow, How does this help me???


The final $787 billion version signed by President Obama on February 17, 2009 includes the following:


Department of Defense facilities
$4.2 billion to repair and modernize Department of Defense facilities
$1.3 billion for medical care for service members and their families
$890 million to improve housing for service members
$240 million for new child development centers
$150 million for the construction of state extended-care facilities
$150 million for an increase of claims processing staff
$100 million to improve facilities of the National Guard

Education
$15.6 billion to increase Pell Grants by $500 to $5,350
$13 billion for low-income public schoolchildren
$12.2 billion for IDEA special education
$2.1 billion for Head Start
$2 billion for childcare services
$650 million for educational technology
$300 million for increased teacher salaries
$250 million for states to analyze student performance
$200 million to support working college students
$70 million for the education of homeless children

Energy
$11 billion funding for an electric smart grid
$6.3 billion for state and local governments to make investments in energy efficiency
$6 billion for renewable energy power generation loans
$5 billion for weatherizing modest-income homes
$4.5 billion for state and local governments to increase energy efficiency in federal buildings
$3.4 billion for carbon capture experiments
$2.5 billion for energy efficiency research
$2 billion for car battery research
$500 million for training of green-collar workers
$400 million for electric vehicle technologies
$300 million to buy energy efficient appliances
$300 million for reducing diesel fuel emissions
$300 million for state and local governments to purchase energy efficient vehicles
$250 million to increase energy efficiency in low-income housing

Environmental cleanup
$6 billion for the cleanup of radioactive waste
$600 million to cleanup hazardous waste that threaten health and the environment
$200 million to cleanup petroleum leaks from underground storage tanks
$100 million to evaluate and cleanup brownfield land

Government technology improvements
$500 million to update the computer center at the Social Security Administration
$290 million to upgrade IT platforms at the State Department
$50 million for IT improvements at the Farm Service Agency
$24 million to improve security systems at the Department of Agriculture headquarters

Healthcare
$19 billion for health information technology
$2 billion for Community Health Centers
$1.1 billion to research the effectiveness of certain healthcare treatments
$1 billion to fight preventable chronic diseases
$500 million to train healthcare personnel
$500 million for healthcare services on indian reservations

Housing
$4 billion for repairing and modernizing public housing
$2.25 billion in tax credits for financing low-income housing construction
$2 billion for Section 8 housing rental assistance
$2 billion to help communities purchase and repair foreclosed housing
$1.5 billion for rental assistance and housing relocation
$510 million for the rehabilitation of Native American housing
$200 million for helping rural Americans buy homes
$130 million for rural community facilities
$100 million to help remove lead paint from public housing

Hunger assistance
$19.9 billion for the Food Stamp Program
$150 million to help refill food banks
$100 million for meals programs for seniors, such as Meals on Wheels
$100 million for free school lunch programs

Job assistance
$3.95 billion for job training
$500 million for vocational training for the disabled
$400 million for employment services
$120 million for subsidized community service jobs for older Americans

Other infrastructure projects
$4.6 billion for the Army Corps of Engineers for environmental restoration, flood protection, hydropower, and navigation infrastructure projects
$4 billion for the Clean Water State Revolving Fund (wastewater treatment infrastructure improvements)
$2 billion for the Drinking Water State Revolving Fund (drinking water infrastructure improvements)
$1.38 billion for rural drinking water and waste disposal projects
$1 billion to the Bureau of Reclamation for drinking water projects for rural or drought-likely areas
$750 million to the National Park Service
$650 million to the Forest Service
$515 million for wildfire prevention projects
$500 million for Bureau of Indian Affairs infrastructure projects
$340 million to the Natural Resources Conservation Service for watershed infrastructure projects
$320 million to the Bureau of Land Management
$280 million for National Wildlife Refuges
$280 million for the National Fish Hatchery System
$250 million to improve Job Corps training facilities
$220 million to the International Boundary and Water Commission to repair flood control systems along the Rio Grande
$220 million for other public lands management agencies
$50 million for the National Endowment for the Arts to support artists

Other job programs
$4 billion for state and local law enforcement agencies
$1 billion in preparation for the 2010 census
$210 million to build and upgrade fire stations
$150 million for the security of transit systems
$150 million for the security of ports

Other worker assistance programs
$4.2 billion to provide an additional Social Security payment in 2009
$1 billion to community action agencies
$1 billion for community and economic developement projects
$500 million to help the Social Security Administration process disability and retirement claims
$200 million for AmeriCorps programs
$140 million for independent living communities
$100 million for food, shelter and support services
$80 million to the Department of Labor Worker Protection and Oversight agency to enforce worker protection laws
$50 million in grants for community "safety net" organizations

Scientific research
$8.7 billion to the National Institutes of Health
$3 billion to the National Science Foundation
$2 billion to the United States Department of Energy
$1.3 billion for university research facilities
$1 billion to NASA
$600 million to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA)
$580 million to the National Institute of Standards and Technology
$230 million for NOAA operations, research and facilities
$140 million to the United States Geological Survey

Telecommunications and Digital TV
$7.2 billion for complete broadband and wireless Internet access
$650 million for DTV conversion coupons and DTV education

Transportation projects
$27.5 billion for highway and bridge construction projects
$8 billion for high-speed rail projects
$6.9 billion for new equipment for public transportation projects
$1.5 billion for competitive grants to state and local governments for transportation investments
$1.3 billion for Amtrak
$1.1 billion for improving airport security
$750 million for the construction of new public rail transportation systems
$750 million for the maintenance of existing public transportation systems
$720 million for improving security at the border and ports of entry
$240 million for the maintenance of United States Coast Guard facilities

Veterans Affairs facilities
$1 billion for the Veterans Health Administration
$50 million for the National Cemetery Administration

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Roswell was REAL!

(Picture Above: Is that Nancy Pelosi, or Marshall Applewhite [Heaven's Gate Cult] In a Wig)

Some of you will recall that on July 8, 1947, a little over 60 years ago, witnesses claim that an unidentified flying object (UFO) with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico. This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered up by the U.S. Air Force and other federal agencies and organizations. However, what you may NOT know is that in the month of April 1948, nine months after that historic day, the following people were born:

Albert A. Gore, Jr.
Hillary Rodham
John F. Kerry
William J. Clinton
Howard Dean
Nancy Pelosi
Dianne Feinstein
Charles E. Schumer
Barbara Boxer

See what happens when aliens breed? I certainly hope this bit of information clears up a lot of things for you. It did for me. No wonder they support the bill to help illegal aliens! Now You Know.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

He isnt as nice as you thought, huh?


Already spending billions, putting future generations in an amazing amount of debt (In the trillions). No Tax cuts, of course. People having more money to spend will not help the economy at all... but obviously ATV Tracks will :)

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

She is mad at me again... I dont know why.

Saska started talking about the Economics class and she is taking which talks about the US military driving the economy and the government manipulating the stock markets, and this was my last response.

Why not study Macedonia's economy? Oh right! because Macedonia doesnt have an economy that isnt thoroughly connected to the US, along with every other country in Europe. All of Europe rises and falls with the American economy. None of you like us, but you all desperately need us! And also, what happens if Greece attacks Macedonia tomorrow? they call the US! If Germany attacks France? They call the US... if anyone attacks anyone in the world, they call the US! We have to fix everybody's problem and when we are done, you arrogant fucking Europeans start badmouthing us! And you badmouth the United States while you eat McDonalds and Drink Coca Cola and wear levi jeans, telling us to mind our own business! Hypocrite cocksuckers!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Answer this for me :)

I'm totally confused! How can 2 million blacks get into Washington
DC in sub zero temps in 1 day when 200,000 couldn't get out of New Orleans
at 85 degrees with four days notice?

Hmmm.....

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Our plans for the economy...

Its funny, ever sense Obama was elected, the news wont call it a "Bailout"... but a "Stimulus Package"... even though countless companies will be bailed out.

"Among the funding measures included in the proposal are $25 million for new ATV trails; $400 million for the National Endowment for the Arts; $400 million for global warming research; $335 million for the Centers for Disease Control to combat sexually-transmitted diseases; and $650 million coupons to subsidize TV viewers for digital television conversion."

You're fucking kidding me, right?